We’ve all heard the stories of people visiting Emergency
Rooms for stubbed toes—this is real—I have personally responded on an ambulance
call for a person with a stubbed toe.
The fire department equivalent, again real, is the stereotypical cat
stuck in the tree. My father had the
best response I’ve ever heard when the dispatcher would call with a report from
a citizen of a feline atop a sapling.
“Tell the caller we’ve never seen a cat skeleton in a tree yet. When the kitty gets hungry enough, it’ll come
down.” End of discussion. Other animal control calls for squirrels or
bats in houses get filed in this miscellaneous category.
Less amusing was a recent incident I heard about where a
citizen broke a fire truck windshield; literally beat a spider web of cracks in
it with his bare hands, because the fire department couldn’t make his power
come back on after a storm.
What some members of the public fail to remember at times is
that it costs money every time a fire truck turns a wheel. Fuel, wear and tear, and indirect costs like
insurance are all part of the equation every time a piece of apparatus
moves. That’s the mechanical side; more
importantly there is wear and tear on people too. Ill maintained and malfunctioning alarm
systems are the bane of our existence. No
fine or penalty seems sufficient after the third straight night of a false
alarm at the same place at 3:00 AM.
The unnecessary, abusive, and downright strange calls
continue to make up more than their fair share of any department’s call
volume. You have to go, though, ‘cause
that’s what we do.
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